bad bad real dream

okay.. forgive me for not blogging.. but i find it hard to just use the computer at home after the facing the computers for a long whole day in the office...

BUT, i've gotto blog this down...

yesterday, i went for dinner with one of my friend and we were sharing about our lives to one another... and i was telling her how i've never gone through any super scary real 'nightmare' before and if any of the youths were to come to me for advice, i would only be able to tell them to pray and believe... er, i'm not quite sure that whether the other party heard the last part... i told my friend, i DO NOT want to experience this kind of 'nightmare' cause it would really test my faith in Christ... haha... my friend then told me that whether or not i experience this kind of 'nightmares', it will not determine my walk with God cause even IF i do NOT experience this kind of 'nightmare', i should be secure in His love for me...

okay, let's fast forward... sleeping time... i prayed before going to bed and said something really weird to myself before entering my room.. i told myself, "s. attacks comes in different forms.. it does not have to be in super scary way.. it can come subtly and quietly... or it can come in ways that i never could imagine..." then i entered my room and climbed into bed...

to not scare the readers away, i will spare EVERYONE the whole story...

i could still feel its hands on my jaw...
i could still hear the whispers in my ears...
i could still imagine its face as i sat in the room with it...

i did not sleep at all and i went to work the next day NOT in the zombie mood... but miraculously, with energy and strength that i have no idea how i would be able to have it if it wasn't from God.. there are lots of lessons to learn.. and many more 'humility' lessons to undergo..

there are no such things as coincidence whether we like it or not...
something very very long, but very very very meaningful... this entire week (cg, YF, family, work and personal life), i've learnt so much about struggles...

If you never felt pain, Then how would you know that I am a Healer?

If you never had to pray, How would you know that I am a Deliverer?

If you never had a trial, How could you call yourself an overcomer?
If you never felt sadness, How would you know that I am a Comforter?
If you never made a mistake, How would you know that I am a forgiver?
If you knew all, How would you know that I will answer your questions?
If you never were in trouble, How would you know that I will come to your rescue?
If you never were broken, Then how would you know that I can make you whole?
If you never had a problem,How would you know that I can solve them?
If you never had any suffering, Then how would you know what I went through?
If you never went through the fire, Then how would you become pure?
If I gave you all things, How would you appreciate them?
If I never corrected you, How would you know that I love you?
If you had all power, Then how would you learn to depend on me?
If your life was perfect, Then what would you need me for?
Love,...Jesus