de-stress

1) Name the person you tagged
aiyah.. lazy to do this.. whoever who wants to tag, just tag urself and get it over with.. I’m doing this to de-stress only.. :p

2) Describe yourself in 1 word
now: exhausted

3) Who would you pick, someone who really loves you, or the one you love?
someone that I love…

4) Have you ever loved someone before but never had the courage to tell him/her?
no… I’ve learnt that life is too uncertain to play around like this…

5) How if people reject your confess face to face? cry?
jokingly? Love as in friendship, yes… love as in relationship? No…

6) God is giving u just 5 more minutes back to heaven, if love someone special, what will you say to that person?
I love you and I’m sorry for all the wrong things that I have done… please forgive me…

7) What will you say to a person who doesn't want to believe you?
nothing… I’ll be sad and I’ll get over it… it’s a choice… can’t dwell on it too long..

8) Was a time that you tried to learn to love someone???
yes… it’s something I need to learn everyday…

9) Do you have something special with you all the time?
my trust in God…

10) Long distance love?
prefer not to…

11) Best place to cry?
wherever I need to cry… it’s because of something I cry, then might as well just cry and let it out instead of letting it dwell inside me…

12) Who do you love the most?
I want to know too… my heart better tell me it’s God…

13) Tell us of your dream last nite
didn’t sleep much… u don’t dream much in a hospital environment…

14) Ever hated someone so bad?
trying to learn not to…

15) The biggest and most hurtful lie you heard??
"i'm ok" when u're not...

16) The last person you had a beer with
can’t remember..
shit… this isn’t helping me with my stress…

17) The last person you went to the movie with
matt, aunty ivy and Rachel… oh, uncle was there too.. watched 007.. but the last movie I watched is HSM 3… I did it alone though…

18) The last person you talked on the cell phone with
Matt…

19) The last person you hugged
Matthew… before he dropped me off at UM yesterday…

20) The last person you yelled at
sis.. wasn’t really yelling.. just arguing.. I guess it’s our way of de-stressing…

21) In the last week have you kissed someone?
matt kissed me on my forehead yesterday… *sorry for the details*

22) Think of the last time you were angry, why were you angry?
this morning around 5am… the ‘neighbour’ at the hospital was being an ass… switched on music using his handphone (speaker) while we were all trying to sleep… I’ve done what I could to shut him up…

23) If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be?
Dad and mom to be fully restored (health)

24) If you could have an all expense paid trip, where will you go?
Hong Kong…

25) What you hate the most?
shitty people testing my patience when they know I’m about to snap…

26) What would be the hardest thing for you to give up on?
family members…

27) Five facts about me:
I cannot stand blood
Shit, can’t think (will update later)

28) Five things that scares me
something happening to my family
Heights – especially from stairs
Dentist and nurses
(will update later)

29) Two songs that is playing in your head lately
Steven Curtis Chapman – Christmas is all in the heart
(will update later)

30) Five things i treasure in my life
my loved ones

at last i'm back home...

*relief*
i miss home and i miss my bed...
but it definitely feels different cause someone u truly love and miss is still in the hospital...
spent lots of time with daddy but he's still weak...

thankful that his condition has improved and that he looks way better than before...
but please please please continue to pray for him cause 60% of his kidney isn't working now...
thank God tht based on his current situation, dialysis is not needed but obviously, please continue to pray for him cause he needs all the prayers now...

pray against stubborness cause due to some superstitions and his worries, he is unwilling to go through operation.. pray that he will be assured and that we will all continue to show him the support needed...

he will be staying in the hospital for at least 7 - 10 days... i have no idea how we are going to work this out... pray for strenght and patience with each other.. all of us are on our end wits and are prone to snap super duper easily... (sigh)

Lord, i have no idea what to do... please help

i'm exhausted now... spent more than 24 hours in the hospital... definitely in need of rest...

Philippians 4:6
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
easier said than done, but it definitely helps whenever i pray...
thanks to all those who have prayed and stayed with me during this time... really appreciated it... :)

leave of absence

not really in the mood to blog much...

dad isn't feeling well and will be goin in for surgery tomorrow... not sure how risky it is and all... kinda stressed up now...

please pray for my entire family...
really can't imagine this family without my dad....

taking my leave of absence from this blog now till no idea when...
if you wanna know more bout my dad's situation, feel free to sms me... :)
*in need of assurance and hugs now... :( *

one day after work, me and wai see wanted to grab something to eat and decided to go to bukit bintang.. we waited at the bus stop for quite some time and it was starting to get on our nerves cause the buses that has the sign 'bukit bintang-titiwangsa' isn't heading towards bukit bintang.. =.=" we saw one bus written midvalley and we just hopped into it... haha.. we ended up eating at this taiwan restaurant... it was really nice... we ate siu long bao and noodles... this is the name of the restaurant...

this is like our starter.. it's really nice.. it's basically zucchini marinated in the jellyfish sauce... yum yum..

jordan chia!! this picture is for u!! do u miss this??! it's the oh-so-nice duck rice nearby matt's house... :p

shu ying helping out at the food sharing, pudu...

esther and stephy helpin out in scoopin out food... erm, wanted to take more pictures for memory sake but was really shy... :(

some toast we ate at little taiwan, avenue K celebrating kar yee's birthday... it's called coffin toast.. *direct translate it* goon choi toast.. haha.. tasted awkwardly nice... :)

@ sungkai, hot spring.. haha.. this is a funny shot.. it was drizzling as we were going back... they used the picnic sheet to cover themselves... jason is really tall!

my lunch with lai ping @ the Garden's thai restaurant...

tasted really nice...

see! i can finish the whole thing alone!!

some healthy drink i bought @ avenue K's fruit stall...

beetroot + apple + orange...

supposingly contains some vits...

taste oh so beetrooty... haha..

taken from my notebook:

does it matter how good we sing if / when our hearts isn't really worshipping? it doesn't matter to God how good you can carry a note; because the gift / talent God has given to you is to sing simply to Him. Sing with all that you have to God and He will be pleased....

You may not be called to be a full time professional singer like a lot of those who are, but if you choose to be faithful in worshipping / giving your heart to God, God will be pleased greatly...

It is not about how long we have walked with God, nor how close we have walked to God (a person can always be with God without really knowing Him personally). It is how we have walked with God.

majority doesn't mean it's the right thing

just because majority behaves a certain way, it doesn't mean it is the right way....

veron (colleague) told me the other day regarding something funny.. she read an article saying that it is only healthy if you defecate more than once daily... (she said that pretty loudly in office)

anyway, i'm famous (obviously within my close friends) as someone who needs to go to the toilet quite constantly... hmm.. *blush*... then when she told me this, i just looked at her and told her confidently, "see! just because u all s_ _ _ once a day and i defecate more than once a day doesn't mean u guys are the healthy ones." haha..

she in the end just gave up and said, yeah loh.. u're the healthy one now.. we are all so unhealthy because we just defecate once a day... sigh..

hahahahaha..
conclusion??? majority shouldn't determine the right and wrong of things... :p

making a choice

christianity is a choice... it has never been forced upon us.. at least, it shouldn't... nobody should ever force someone to make choices regarding to what they want to believe in...

church should be a place to encourage people who wants to walk together to walk faithfully...

my mentality regarding how the cg should go has changed so much ever since the past few months... i've realised that i've been in the self-pity mood for too long to realise that it isn't about me...

thinking back, the reason i've volunteered myself to be an intern isn't because i'm capable.. but it's because i'm available... i've always labelled myself as someone without leadership skills, lack of confidence in speaking up, and someone who is actually timid and shy... that is the reason why i am not giving my best to my God...

i've shifted the focus from God to myself over and over again for the past few months... especially since amanda left... i've been telling God tht he must be kidding and tht he has no idea what he is doing... putting ME?! as leader??? haha.. he must have ran out of candidates... =.=" silly me rite? see how the focus has changed from being available to him to serve to the point of re-counting to God my 'skills'?

few years ago, i've made a choice to avail myself to Him in whatever ways possible... for His Kingdom, for His glory, and for His people... that was and is my choice... what are the choices of people nowadays? i seriously do not want to force anything upon them... they are too precious in God's sight to be made lost by my reckless choices... i've been trying too hard to do things the last few months until everything became project oriented...

see a need, meet the need... sounds simple? hard to do?? haha.. it's actually easier than trying to do everything under the sun... try it.. it's not that hard if everyone thinks and moves towards that way... :)

siblings rivalry

have u ever noticed how easy it is for us to just snap at our own siblings or relatives?

i've experienced it...
i've seen it...
i've felt it...

it is easier for us to destroy rather than to build...
how ironic...

my patience with the people out there in the world is so much larger compared to the patience i have with the people in my inner circle.. i tend to just vent out my anger or frustrations easily rather than to practice the ever lasting long lesson of patience... *sigh*

i've seen many siblings who argue over petty issues just for the sake of getting the final word... i've done it over a million times with the people closest to me... i'm getting tired of this... no wonder people get depressed easily nowadays...

yesterday i've seen cousins arguing and it's weird cause when 1 of them left, the other one came to talk to me real politely... hmm.. it's not wrong.. it just made me think why do we behave that way... *laugh* nah, i don't have the answer... i'm just wondering out loud... hehe... doesn't that made u think?

muy office character

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taggy tag tag

1) Real name : Joanne Lai
2) Nicknames : Jlai, lai lai, yan, joanne
3) Married : to God lar... ahha.. if that's not the answer u're lookin for, then no lar.. single..
4) Zodiac sign : cow cow.. neh!! the stubborn wan ar... everyone only knows tht characteristic.. =.="
5) Gender : Female
6) Age : 21
7) High School : SMK CBN
8) College : UTAR
9) Height : 15_ cm something.. i last measured in sec school... =.="
10) Weight : 42kg???
11) Do you like yourself : yupz... :)
12) Piercings : yea yea...
13) Right or left : right... whatever this meant.. right handed or piercing?? crap.. i'm blur now..
14) Are you a freak : depends... i can be... :p
15) Hair : Brownish black
16) Skin : considered as fair
17) Allergic : carrot and tomatoes.. (bluek) self-proclaimed allergy..
18) What are you doing now : hoping to sleep without mom nagging.. =.="
19) What will you do 1 hour later : whatever my dreams want to do...
20) What will you do 10 years later : live...

The Family
21) Live with mother/ father/ parents : family loh... sai hei... :p
22) Siblings (including you) : 3
23) Eldest : Sister
24) Youngest : me me me... :p
25) Love/ hate your family : love loh... my sis and bro read my blog wan ar! want me to die meh?

The Love
26) Found your other half : hahaha... oops.. yea loh... :p
27) If yes who is she/ he : matthew soo lohhh
28) If no who you want she/ he to be : no idea... :p
29) Time(s) you been in a relationship : this is my first and i pray it's my one and only... :)
30) Ever woo boy/ girl : er, no??
31) Anyone woo you before : er, yea?
32) Did anything wrong to your other half : does eating his food count?? =.=" i'm lame..
33) What was/ were the wrong that you had done : can't think.. blur
34) Ever argue with your other half : haha.. u say leh??? :p
35) You with your other half since : end of form 4... crap.. when was that??
36) Are you straight/ lesbo : straight
37) Reasons you love your other half : cause i choose to... :)
38) You and your other half in which stage : tell me the stages and i'll answer u... :p
39) You woo she/ he or he/ she woo you : mutually attracted...
40) ever think of marry she/ he : wa.. banyak the england.. :p think of course got think lar...

The Friends
41) Your first best friend : i believe it's ah jo... my neighbour cum closest friend since young..
42) Your first enemy : no idea...
43) The friend you love the most : no idea... no specific ones..
44) The enemy you hate the most : johanians.. hahahahahaha...
45) Your most beautiful girl friend : er... all also so beautiful wan lar... eh! fearfully and wonderfully created lar... :p
46) Your most handsome boy friend : cannot answer.. later matt kill me die loh..
47) The kind of girl you hate the most : those who think tht they are above everyone else... "ooo, i'm so precious bla bla bla..."
48) The kind of boy you hate the most : johanians loh.. haha... enough said.. big pride, big ego, big nose... :p
49) You fall in love with your close friend before : not in love la... admire got lar..
50) Your best friend is your ex-lover : no lar..
51) If your friend backstabbing you : cry over it and let it go...
52) If your friend betray you : cry over it and let it go...
53) If your friend love your lover : excuse me! ask me first lar... sensitive sikit boleh ar?
54) If your friend fall in love with you : be honest bout how u feel and continue to be friends if possible...
55) If you fall in love with your best friend : give my best to tht fella loh...

The Studies
56) Are you a good student : don't think so... haha.. define 'good'
57) You always done your homework/ assignments : err... hahaha.. oops.. hate 'studies' questions..
58) The teacher/ tutor love you most : don't think i have any special teacher who loves me... :p
59) Always late to school/ college : nope.. i hate being late to school...
60) Your class : i really liked attending class.. probably only hated the idea of h/works and answering to teachers.. :p
61) You love your seniors : mostly yes...
62) Senior who love you the most : i think they find me annoying.. (blush)
63) Your classmates good/ bad : there's a balance i believe...
64) Excellent result classmates : wa.. need to name names meh?
65) Laziest classmate : me loh...

The People
66) Smart people : people who think ahead instead of just the present...
67) Stupid people : ppl who think they are smart and can't wait for the world to know it...
68) Good looking people : hidden talents probably??
69) Ugly people : ppl who only focuses on their problems instead of the good things... pessimist..
70) Funny people : ppl who uses their own characteristics to make ppl smile..
71) Cute people : me ah?? haha.. :p ppl who are comfortable in their own skin..
72) Bad people : ppl who hate seeing the bright side... ppl who chooses to react to the bad side of their life..
73) Honest people : likeable.. approachable..
74) Acting people : enough said lar..
75) What kind of person are you : what do u think??? i'd like to know also.. haha..
76) Lips or eyes : eyes... :)
77) Hugs or kisses : hugs.. more comforting... :) kisses ain't tht bad even if it's just on the forehead.. :)
78) Shorter or taller : definitely taller.. it's wrong to be shorter than me! *guys*
79) Hesitant or spontaneous : spontaneous
80) Nice stomach or nice arms : stomach comes first... :) then arms..
81) Listener or talker : definitely listener.. i'm a talker.. we can't be both talking at the same time!
82) Romantic or rich : caring... :) romantic ain't enough and rich isn't the point of love...
83) Good Husband or good father : both of course... but father would have to come first...

The Future
84) Age to get married : definitely before 30.. but no rush...
85) Number of kids : no idea oh.. 2 or 3 probably...
86) Career : no idea...
87) Salary : depends on the economic at that time rite?
88) Retirement age : 22... eh! tht's next yr!! haha... no idea la...
89) Properties value : depends on the economic @ tht time also..
90) Wishes : get well soon.. stupid flu is back!

The Victims
91-100) tag only if u have a clear head... tag only if u want to... tag only if u have the time to... tag only when u're not as sick as me.. (sniff)

youth with a mission

15th nov 2008 marks a special day for some of us @ ASC... reason being is that on that day, not only did pak wei's brother got married, it is a day where we took our first step in reaching out to the public (as in, the sat cg)... though there weren't many of us, still.. i believed it meant a lot to those who went that day...

we met up @ pudu plaza at 1.00pm and we went over to the alley to wait for the van to come... oh, i forgot to tell u who were there right? erm, esther, shu ying, simon, paul, stephanie and obviously myself... we waited @ the alley for quite some time looking pretty unsure of what will be happening next...

around 2.00pm, the van arrived and we all walked towards the van hoping to know what we could do to help... the pots and buckets arrived first and the van left again to get the chairs and tables... after another few minutes, people started showing up and the experienced people who have been helping out started explaining things to us... the van came back with chairs and tables and the guys started setting up the area by putting up the canopy and setting the tables right.. the gals on the other hand started moving once all these tables are ready to be used...

drinks and waters were all being prepared and more people who came for the food started showing up one by one... once the food were all packed into the take-away plastic food container, we started serving the food to those who are seated...

even though it was just a very simple food sharing time with those who came, it brings a lot of meaning to us who were involved that day... we actually took some time off from focusing on ourselves and use it to help those who need our help... it was the support that meant most to those who came that day... while i was helping out, i actually believed that i have a mission here on earth as His child.. it was so different from the times that i have used on leading inside the church.. (not that those times didn't meant much, it just felt different knowing that i can make a difference in this world) when we were helping out, i wasn't worried / focused on our members even though @ first i was pretty worried bout them... my focus shifted from them to the people who came because knowing that God is with the members, everything will be alright... i am amazed at how at peace i am when i know that God is taking care of the members... the assurance is beyond words...

i felt peace and restoration... it was amazing even though it was just helping out in distributing food to those who need... God is really good at all times... it rained somewhat 15 minutes before the van arrived and the rain stopped completely when the canopy was putted up... God really is good cause' he cooled off the weather... it is amazing sometimes when we choose to rely on Him... (i was actually kinda worried bout' the weather)

i pray that God will continue to bless the people who are involved in this consistently with much greater abundance of blessings...

pray that as we plan to work with this organization to help out monthly starting from next year...

called to please God....

we are created not to please men... it's never possible to please men for long... as much as we try, we will never be able to please men permanently...


for example, we try to please someone by doing something nice for them... erm, imagine you helping someone by picking up the rubbish that u saw lying on the floor... probably for the first time, someone compliments u by saying u're being a real good kid.. but if u do it long enough, people just tend to expect more from you... they might even think that it's part ur character and if u miss one rubbish one day, they criticize u for not being consistent... to them, it's like a habit of urs and worst thing is, u will only be able to please them with that 1 'trick' once....


but since we were created by God for the purpose of pleasing God... small little things like us smiling at the lady in front of you will please him because God is easily pleased by our actions when it is actually done to please him...


how often is ur life written down by ur friends? i don't believe any of my friends has a book titled: "Joanne (Lai's) life" but Psalm 139:16b - 18 says "All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you."

city life

ew ew wewww....
city life is super bad for ur health... ew...

every morning, it's a very basic thing for humans to just bath and wash up before leaving house... but nowadays, it seems as though it's pointless to just do so because of the quality of the air outside ur very house... i seem to realise that every time i step out of the house, my face is covered up with a very very yucky feeling... i know i do not have the most cleanest face on earth.. but i actually do feel dirty whenever i step out of the house due to the most 'wonderful' quality of air in KL...

sigh... so what if i'm using the most expensive face wash??! it won't change much the moment i step of the house unless i wear some kiddo mask to cover my face... yucks... KL KL KL....

ps: from where i'm sitting now, the view outside my office is just blurry and yucky... i'm not even sure whether it's my eyes playing tricks on me or the windows are not cleaned up properly, or it's the fact that KL is actually pretty hazzy... yee yucks... KL air sucks!

pps: i think face wash should be the common gift to give out during birthdays and stuff..

Some pictures at last from Sungkai Hot Spring~!

us @ the family jacuzzi... :)

no~! my leg isn't THAT fair!! OPTICAL ILLUSION!!

Group photo time~!

Currently reading:

PDF File of Harry Potter's last book - edited version..

what's in it? more deaths and more fighting compared to the original... and the love story between Ginny and Harry is more sappy and lovey-dovey... haha.. too much for young readers... O_o! wanna read it? but be warn, it is a 700 page PDF file!

love

We come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.

Sam Keen

i'm actually afraid of the word 'divorce'... this word has been popping up around me so often nowadays... i've heard it at work, at church, at my own private life... gosh... this seven letter word has been taken so lightly that nowadays people seem to think that it is a norm for people who are no longer happy together to just separate / divorce.. sigh.. the rate of people going through this is alarmingly high regardless of race or religion... isn't it sad that people no longer depend on the Author of love? sadder still when people no longer thinks that love is actually a choice but some mushy-squishy feeling when 2 people are together... *double sigh...*

i have no idea what will happen in the future... even worst still, whether will i actually go through this same sad stage... but i'm just saying that for this to happen so often nowadays, it really shows that people are hopeless on their own... that they cannot actually lead their own life... the results are obvious enough for someone that is blind to see... (no offence really.. in fact, sometimes blind people can see more than us) i will definitely pray hard that i will not need to go through this stage... haha..

the combination of marriage vows for husband and wife

I take you (Name) to be my lawful (wife/husband), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health for as long as we both shall live. Your beauty, heart, and mind inspire me to be the best person I can be. I promise to love you for eternity, respecting you, honoring you, being faithful to you, and sharing my life with you. This is my solemn vow.

when is the best time to start praying for ur future?

NOW!!!

interesting week

my week has been super duper eventful.. haha.. wanna know why????!!

first and definitely is because God has been speaking to me lar... of what??? erm, of 1 thing loh... tht something is something tht he is trying to teach me... it has been spoken for months and it has been faithfully regarding tht one thing... it is not some great and glorious work so tht others can see.. it is something tht is of internal change.. it is the change of mentality.. of inward transformation.. "ceh wah!" haha... i'll share more when the transformation progress further...

second thing... wooho!! i took leave on friday (7th nov) haha.. it is my first leave taken after confirmation @ work place... wakakaka... "what's the big deal?" "no big deal ar... i'm just making a big fuss about it ma" (x_x) (bleh) it definitely feels fun to be resting on a day where everyone else is working loh... tht's why i'm making a big huu-haa bout it mar... :p tht day has been especially fun actually because i woke up @ 7am and drove matt to work.. i was definitely blur (as always) cause i wore my sleeping clothes and i suddenly realised that i should change so tht i can have breakfast with him... =.=" i was definitely late to realise that cause i was already midway to his house when i thought about it... we both went to mc d drive through and bought ourselves some super duper 'healthy' breakfast... i reached home and started watching the other boleyn girl...

around 10.30am, i bathed and drove my parents out to get their car... then i drove all the way to midvalley again to meet up with LAI PING to have lunch.. gosh! it's been months since i last saw her... *erm, i believe it's in april* had some thai food @ the gardens and was really fun to finally be able to catch up with her... i then went back to midvalley to meet up with janet, adeline, may kwan and jessie to watch mamma mia @ 2.20pm... PIERCE BROSNAN should NOT sing! he definitely looks better with a gun.. sigh..

it was fun catching up with the girls and after eating tong sui *finally some fu chuk pak goh yi mei @ the gardens jonker street*, i left around 6.15pm (i wasn't informed by them that they are planning to have dinner) and went to meet up with the third group of ppl *my siao siao colleagues* for dinner @ pandan perdana's restaurant talipon... went to miharja to fetch them and started our bbq steamboat till around 9.30pm... siao as usual, noisy as usual... the place was actually deserted when we first arrived... but it was filled with 3-5 groups of ppl before we left... fetched 1 of them back to miharja lrt station, and 2 of them back to midvalley with the intention of getting matt from his hell-like workplace.. but as expected, he can't leave yet cause he have not finished his work yet... it was really fun and tiring that day...

saturday: 2pm - youth camp committee meeting and at 5pm, youth service.. wasn't fun because of the stupid cramp that i have been having since friday NITE... definitely not a fun day... yucky day.. thank God tht matt helped me to lead the service... definitely would hate that standing up feeling.. ew... went to tsim tung to have dinner with the others after service and went home after that... yucky day...

sunday: woke up @ 7am *yet again* and got ready for the big day... wohoo! went to PJ to direct my friend to cheras *=.="* and ate breakfast @ connought's famous dim sum place and got into our cars... started driving north and after nearly 2 hours *12pm*, reached our final destination with the stupid cramp feeling in both my leg and stomach.. ouch! walked into the super ulu place (tmn rekreasi air panas [trap] sungai klah) it wasn't the best feeling to actually dip ur leg into the super hot spring... but definitely a new experience for me... all our legs actually look cooked u know?! haha.. i didn't take much pictures cause i feel pai seh... haha.. why? 3 of my colleagues were holding up nikon camera's with the extended lense lar! and me??! holding my sony ericsson W810i handphone?! @_@!

was a fun experience lar... used up to RM 50 per person including petrol and toll... there were 8 of us in the group [terry (jbd), jacqueline (hr), wai sie (acc), yi kang (acc), ee ling (p&ad), jason (new friend), myself and matt]... rented a private family jacuzzi and u know what?? even though i told them i couldn't get myself into the water because of the untimely period, i got myself wet by actually stepping into the 'deep' of the jacuzzi.. i seriously did not know that the center is THAT deep! i was already at the end and i thought that that is the deepest.. thank God that my phone wasn't wet even though it went into the water with me... thank God for jeans! (short jeans) went to bidor for duck thigh noodle and bought lots of food back... reached kl around 6.30pm... wah.. tired arrrrrr......

nite loh... if i dun sleep, sure my eyes bengkak tomoro...

ahhhh-choooo~!

crap~! just as i thought i'm feeling super duper tiny winy better.. they go service the air con in the office.. ahhh-choo~! sigh... i'm already wearing 3 layers of clothes.. *excluding the inner one* and it's still super duper cold... freakin freezin cold! i think i'm in need of another layer of clothes!!! wahhh!!! what the heck... sigh

current favs:
artiste (chinese): linda chung, raymond lam, kate tsui
song: she (ni zui zin hao ma?), beyonce (if i were a boy), raymond lam + bing yi's song (ming tian yi hou)

illlllll

*cry*

i'm ill~!
flu flu fluuuuuuuuuuuu...
sorethroat..
headache.......

and no! i'm not going to take MC cause' i can still tahan... muahaha.. i refuse to... i'm not going to be those sakais' who misuses the MC...
getting better though... only now my nose gets stuck so badly until i couldn't really breath.. yucks.. hate that feeling...

wakaka.. raymond lam fung also not feeling well... and no, i'm not ill cause he's ill. it IS coincident... *honestly, i think if nobody brings this guy up, i won't talk so much about him.. haha.. the more someone talk bout him, the more i will talk about him *

no more food for now

my my.. i realised that i have been posting on food and on food alone.. hahaa... do i really eat THAT much?! i had taiwan noodle and strawberry smoothie for lunch today.. not that much eh? hahaha.. mc d breakfast for breakfast... ? er, and dinner @ aunty ivy's place.. haha.. er, waffle as snack before dinner... (bleh) er, weird thing is that i'm not sizing up! haha.. so many ppl gonna kill me for that.. (double bleh)

anyway, life lately has been er, ok...
thought about a lot of things lately... mostly bout cg... i was pretty down at one point cause of the outcome.. (yes, i know i shouldn't be the judge.. but hey, i'm only human) anyway, then i realised that it wasn't really up to me to really see the results.. cause, the reason i'm leading right now isn't to just see the immediate outcome.. but to serve the one true living God.. if i actually say that i fully trust him, don't that mean leaving the outcome to him also? i know i will never be able to compare myself to the previous leaders who lead with a passionate heart and purposeful heart.. not that i don't have it.. just that, i'm more disorganized.. i'm not messy and spontaneous.. it's like, everytime i have this plan that seemed to have hatched in my head, but the moment i reach cg, everything seem to go haywire and yea.. i'm a mess.. haha...

but it's not about me right? it's about him right? it's about letting him take control and not pulling back right? sigh.. i really just want to do my best.. i know that i no longer have the power to change and transform people from the inside out.. only God can do that.. only He can transform.. so, (sigh), i'll just do my best (and i definitely need to ensure that it is my definite best) and leave the results to him... i'm only human eh... and what i can do, i'll do... yupz... definitely need all the prayers that i can get.. definitely need all the encouragement that i can get too...

thought of the members too... missed them all dearly and pray that in whatever they are going through right now, they'll at least try to depend on God.. i can only do this much.. they need to do the rest.. it's their walk.. it's their faith... they need to choose their sides NOW... i'll leave them in my mighty God's hands... :)

thanks for all the support given... *hugs to all who have and will pray*