OK! Youth fellowship back in action to take over CG's and Youth service... part of me felt relieved cause i no longer need to spend innumerous hours in church waiting for cg and youth service to finish... part of me is like, ok, what next? how is YF going to be like? i've never been in YF before... and i've never attended CF for more than 3 times in a row...
election day is today.... nominees? joyce, esther, shu ying, tony, tommy, simon, jonathan and sadly, myself...
voted here and voted there... conclusion??! it left me speechless... no idea what to say... i know all the theories... why i'm here and all.. but seriously, i feel vulnerable now... i feel lost now... i know not what to do but to cry to God...
i know exactly who supports me and who does not support me... i don't want a title.. i don't want a position... i just want to love God and obey what He wants me to do... *contradicting myself eh?*
honestly, am i too serious???
i worry that i'm too serious to be where i am now...
i'm only 22 years old and i feel seriously part of Ancient of Days...
i no longer think like a 22 yrs old after working for so long...
i don't feel like 22 years old after semi leading a cg for so long...
i just don't feel like 22 years old...
walk by F A I T H??
lead by F A I T H ??
these words seem too huge for me right now... i just know that i am incapable of leading... seriously! do i really need to be this weak to know that You are THAT strong?!
what am i to do?? i seriously have no idea....
Romans 11:29?? argh!!! WHAT NOW??!!
i don't think everyone is able to accept the position that i am holding now...
Sunday, January 4, 2009
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3 comments:
Hey there....ermmm wat is the position u hold?...well based on the verse, i'm assuming u got the part where u practice ur gift of teaching rite??..well ust a wild guess...but anyway...
I think at time where u feel lost that is best time for u to draw even more closer to Him coz u will learn to depend on Him and stay out of ur comfort zone of knowing wat to do every week in and week out...cheers=)
that verse was given to me by someone as an encouragement... gift of teaching?? gift of encouragement?? i have no idea what gifts i have right now apart from feeling lost of what to do...
i'm just struggling very badly..
part of me wants to just embrace this and look forward to the challenge ahead... but then again, i don't want to face this alone...
another part of me tells me to just give others this chance.. others who truly wants this.. others who have passion and desire for this...
struggling.. *yes, i know i am very poh ma*
i didnt say u poh ma also...
well...best embrace the challenge...somehow u also need to know ur gifts mar...take this as a challenge to confirm ur gifts also lar...though u r in charge in that area u could work together with others who is so eager to be in ur position mar..
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